The rain is beating down on the metal roof of your car, you’re trying to remain vigilant, there are cars swerving and braking erroneously… you find yourself trying to focus, trying to remain steady, and when you least expect it, amidst the madness, there is a brief moment when you pass under a bridge, and for a split second, the world goes completely silent.
That silence is somewhere between eerie and peaceful, but it’s so brief that the tranquility is ruined by the realization that imminent chaos is soon to return. That’s what anxiety is. The body’s inability to be at peace due to the realization that imminent chaos is soon to return. And what makes anxiety so sinister is that the chaos, the danger isn’t real; your mind is stuck in a loop of trying to protect a body that isn’t in danger.
UNDERSTANDING
So logically, my task had become proving my mind my body isn’t in danger, but as I continued down that logic, I realized I didn’t respect, love, or appreciate my body. Loving a person selflessly means to love them in the ways they desire or need to be loved, not the way you choose to love them. The same applies to your body; loving your body and not working out is meaningless because you are depriving the body of one of the things it needs most. Are you tracking?
Somewhere along the line, I realized I didn’t know my body as well as I thought I did. I’ve always been this cognitive person. For as long as I can remember, I used to wrap myself in my thoughts. Reality wasn’t a safe space, so I retreated into my mind imagining a better future, or I dove into a book getting swept into the story of some far-away place with far-away people. I thought the only thing that mattered in life was perspective. I thought you could think your way out of anything. You could simply decide to not be depressed. You could decide not to be anxious. I thought everyone had conscious control over what they felt. I thought feelings were a choice, but that’s only half of the battle. The mind is fickle, but the body? The body is a source of truth. I was so wrapped up in my head that I neglected the most primal purpose of my mind; which is to protect my body.
After my most recent panic attack, I really needed to reevaluate how I was approaching my mental health. Honestly, I think the term mental health is, in and of itself, misleading in the sense that it dismisses the body’s involvement with your overall well-being. This goes beyond eating right and exercising.There is a need for somatic healing and there is trauma stored in the body
PLAN OF ACTION
I really had to sit with myself and ask what I consciously do to protect and uplift my physical body. I mean, I work out very frequently, and I really only eat out 3-4 times a month; that’s enough, right? Well, as I dug deeper, I realized working out fasted every day at 6 a.m. was causing cortisol spikes, putting me in a fight-or-flight mode first thing in the morning. I was eating at home and hitting my macros, but I was still constantly bloated and overeating. All of this goes to say that I never took a single moment to sit, be still, and listen to what my body needs. I was listening to the books, the fitness influencers, the podcasts, my friends, etc., but I never sat in my body and listened to what it was telling me.
I pushed through the headaches and twisted stomach to knock out that morning exercise because society told me if I can work out every day at 6 AM, then I’m a healthy and productive person. Anytime that I smoked, I would get an ache in my chest; every time I drank, I would feel dizzy and sick, BUT I STILL DID IT. Why? What was I trying to feel or not feel, and how do I address that in a way that helps my body, not betrays it? I know someone out there is reading this saying that “it’s not that serious,” but I couldn’t think of anything more serious than the relationship your mind has with your body… you are going to be living in your mind for the rest of your life; make it a nice place to live.
CONCLUSION
In the stillness of our own bodies lies a profound truth—one that transcends the chaos of the mind. As we navigate the storms of anxiety and seek to understand the intricate dance between mental health and physical well-being, let’s remember the importance of silence, of listening to what our bodies whisper to us. It’s not just about working out or adhering to external standards; it’s about respecting, loving, and appreciating the vessel that carries us through life. In the quiet moments, we find the strength to confront anxiety, to nurture our bodies, and to build a sanctuary within our minds—a place where self-love and understanding flourish. The journey may be challenging, but with each intentional step, we forge a path towards a more harmonious union of mind and body. Embrace the stillness, listen to your body, and make the space within your mind a home filled with compassion, acceptance, and love. After all, it’s a journey you’ll be on for the rest of your life—make it a beautiful one.
END NOTE
And to the man who inspires me endlessly congratulations on becoming a board certified sexologist.
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